Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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