There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
she told me i tasted like america
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
