I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
