I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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