Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
