We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
my poor anus
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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