Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
