No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
