i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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