she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
