Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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