3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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