sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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