remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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