Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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