I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
being pregnant is like rehab
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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