3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
