Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
