Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I have feelings that need drinking.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
