He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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