I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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