so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize