Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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