There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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