Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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