don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Randomize