i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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