I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
