she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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