That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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