Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
