I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
