i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
