we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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