Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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