Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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