Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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