Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
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If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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