I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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