Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
