And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
