Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
