that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I could make wine with my vomit
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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