I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
