My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
