you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize