okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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