So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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