Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
