Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
