So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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