I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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