do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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