I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
she woke up with a sticky ear
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
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