Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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