why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize