Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
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sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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