Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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