You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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